From Parrots to Prose

A version of this story appeared in Total Annarchy, my fortnightly newsletter that helps you be a better writer, storyteller, marketer. Get it in your inbox; you’ll love it. * * * I was in a planning meeting last week with a client—with the CEO (we’ll call her Jack Sparrow) and a VP (we’ll call him Paulie). Everything that Jack Sparrow said, Paulie would repeat… slightly rephrased. “We should probably ask the Sales Team to weigh in,” Jack Sparrow said at one point. “We should run it up the flagpole,” echoed Paulie. A bit later: “Then again, no one actually makes rational decisions,” Jack Sparrow said. “We are ruled by our emotions,” Paulie added. Paulie didn’t add anything new to the conversation. It was like being on a Zoom with a parrot. Perched on Jack’s shoulder, Paulie restated what had already entered our earholes. He squawked away. The meeting dragged.

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Milking Brand Voice for All It’s Worth

Let’s pretend you are a marketer for a large consumer brand. You plan to launch an email newsletter. You call it “Spam the Newsletter.” You’d never do that, right? It’s like a grammarian named “Typo.” Or a hopeful politician with the name “Loser.” But let’s pretend you did call it Spam—you really did! And when you write your first issue you misspell your CEOs name (twice). (You address your newly acquired subscribers as “FIRSTNAME LASTNAME” (literally—that’s the “name” you use).) (Pause here to check if all those parenthetical asides are parenthetically closed correctly. Yes? Yes! Onward.) * * * What’s the best way to get subscribers to your fresh new newsletter named Spam? Create a viral Twitter thread followed by a CTA like Sign Up for More of This Brilliance Or Die Penniless and Alone. Display an aggressive website pop-over that assaults anyone whose cursor hovers within a hair of

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A gratitude inventory (even without Taylor Swift tickets)

A version of this story appeared in Total Annarchy, my fortnightly newsletter that helps you be a better writer, storyteller, marketer. Get it in your inbox; you’ll love it. * * * Hi, bezzie. A close friend had a birthday this week. In gratitude for the texts and messages that modern birthdays serve up… she wrote on Instagram: “I have… a wonderful husband, sparkling kids, cherished friends, fulfilling career, Taylor Swift tics….” (LOL on that last one. But also… I’m a little salty. Because I do not have Taylor Swift tickets.) My friend ended with “I matter to the world I have created for myself.” I loved that subtle reframing. What do we have in the world we’ve created for ourselves? It’s Thanksgiving week here in the U.S., a time of gratitude and reflection. I suppose that’s why this issue is a little more introspective than most. This issue is also less

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7 of the Best Book Gifts for Writers, Marketers, Creators

A version of this story appeared in Total Annarchy, my fortnightly newsletter that helps you be a better writer, storyteller, marketer. Get it in your inbox; you’ll love it. * * * Hi! Annta Claus here with an important message: Books make the best presents. Let’s check the list for reasons why… A book is personal. It’s chosen with someone specifically, squarely in your mind. A book has no expiration date. A book can be used/reused as many times as you want. (You can’t ever use it up!) And each time, it’s a slightly different experience. You can write in it. (You should write in it!) Books don’t require double-A batteries or USB chargers or adapters. You can mail books in the US mail at the lower “book rate” (AKA Media Mail).* * Trivia to toss out at the holiday table: In the 1930s, President Roosevelt created that preferred rate as a way to encourage literacy. Books are a

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