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Ann Handley

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A Virgin in Hollister

Being a parent for the better part of two decades, I’ve gotten used to accepting the fact that my kids are attracted to things that I don’t like.

When my son Evan was about four, he was shopping with me in a second-hand children’s shop. Rummaging in the forgotten bits at the bottom of one of those boxes of toys that shopkeepers sometimes keep in the corner to keep kids occupied, he eventually unearthed a shopworn plastic figurine of Hulk Hogan.

SuperEvanIt wasn’t for sale, but we bought it anyway, and the minuscule Hogan, which innocent Evan sweetly named Kimby, instigated a love of larger-than-life heroes, rangers and comic book characters that has stayed with him in various expressions, even now, as he enters the downside of his teen years. In other words, no matter how much I advocated early on for Pooh Bear, he had his own ideas.

The truth is, we all want our kids to like the things that we like, to have the same sensibility, character, and good taste. But they are their own people, which some of them make clear more strongly than others. And, eventually, all parents need to get over the disappointment; we can only shape so much.

I was reminded of this again when my newly minted preteen decided that for her 11th birthday what she really wanted was a new outfit from the mall. Caroline is an inherently reasonable child; she does well in school, she reads for fun, she eats broccoli, and she brushes her teeth without being reminded. In other words, she is not the kind of kid who is prone to outrageous demands. She does, however, get a rush from good clothes.

If the mall were a mega-church to the god of retailing, there would be four demi-gods at the altars of which Caroline and her group of friends would worship: Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, Aeropostale, and Hollister. Of these, Hollister seems the latest savior.

Hollister is a merchant of California surf-style clothes. Actually – if you are in marketing, you’d call it a “lifestyle brand.” Despite its suggested surfer roots -– its logo is a flying seagull -– its first store opened in Ohio in July 2001 (Ohio seagull population = 10). Weirdly, Hollister is owned by Abercrombie & Fitch, which makes them at once rivals and compadres, caught in some strange mother-daughter catfight, a la Dina and Lindsay Lohan.

So the church analogy ends quickly. Once you step into Hollister, an entirely different kind of institution comes to mind.

First, at the entrance, there’s a giant graphic of a brooding and shirtless lounging male, with killer California good looks. Then there’s the loud music with a boost of bass. And the lack of windows, which makes it hard to know whether it’s day or night. The stuffiness of too-tight racks (the hanging clothes, not on the models). The 53-inch flat screens with a live surfer feed from Huntington Beach. The bad lighting that makes it impossible to discern actual colors or (if you are the one with the credit card) numbers on the price tag.

In short, Hollister is more like a nightclub than a store. The young, nubile girls who work there circulate among the crowd or work the registers like barkeeps. It was 10:30 AM, but I momentarily had the urge to order a cocktail.

It was a brief trip. Caroline made her selection fairly quickly, and—surprise to me when the barkeep gave me the credit slip to sign—it was actually on post-Christmas sale.

It turns out that the place gave Caroline a headache, too. Or so she said. From the way she smiled slightly and walked with an extra bounce in her step when we were finally through the doors, I suspect that she kind of dug the whole scene.

Photo booth

She is, after all, 11, and intensely a voyeur of the older generation: the girls of 15 or 16 who come to the mall without their moms in tow, those who speak loud enough to be heard over the crow of Hollister speakers and each other’s din, rather than in the close whisper that Caroline spoke into my ear.

So it didn’t end badly, really. But as we left the Hollister store, we passed another gaggle of girls charging in, all dressed alike and laughing at a thing no outsider could possibly think was funny. And it occurred to me that we had arrived at the brink of a sort of passage, my girl and I. Suddenly, why am I the one who feels like the virgin?

At that moment, Caroline took my hand instinctively–still a little girl, for now at least. Which was nice. And I paused to appreciate what I have while I still have it. Experience tells me that this stage she’s in won’t last, and that’s ok, too.

It’s okay, I tell myself. Just like, I suppose, mothers everywhere tell themselves.

Filed Under: Parenting, Pop Culture Tagged With: Abercrombie & Fitch, daughters, Hollister, marketing, mothers, Parenting, retail

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Vahe says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Ann, you rule!

    Reply
  2. Vahe says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:53 am

    Ann, you rule!

    Reply
  3. CK says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    I am so happy you have a place where you can just be…you. It’s a corner of the universe/blogiverse that’s all yours.

    And you don’t have to talk marketing (that’s what Twitter is for me, an escape).

    Lots of love and lots of joy to you here (and everywhere else you write).

    Reply
  4. Jim Kukral says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    Congrats on new blog Ann!

    Reply
  5. CK says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:54 am

    I am so happy you have a place where you can just be…you. It’s a corner of the universe/blogiverse that’s all yours.

    And you don’t have to talk marketing (that’s what Twitter is for me, an escape).

    Lots of love and lots of joy to you here (and everywhere else you write).

    Reply
  6. Jim Kukral says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:54 am

    Congrats on new blog Ann!

    Reply
  7. Peter Kim says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    I think you just gave me a preview of my life in 6 years.

    Reply
  8. Peter Kim says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:55 am

    I think you just gave me a preview of my life in 6 years.

    Reply
  9. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Thanks CK, Jim, and Peter — Thanks for stopping by my new outpost. I feel like a virgin here, too… lol.

    And Vahe — : )

    Reply
  10. Mack Collier says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    It’s about time you decided to lose the safety net, you never needed it anyway.

    Reply
  11. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:56 am

    Thanks CK, Jim, and Peter — Thanks for stopping by my new outpost. I feel like a virgin here, too… lol.

    And Vahe — : )

    Reply
  12. Mack Collier says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:56 am

    It’s about time you decided to lose the safety net, you never needed it anyway.

    Reply
  13. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    As always — Mack as supportive brother! 😉

    Reply
  14. Tim Jackson says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    I LOVE the title of the blog! I wish MY name was Ann so I could copy it and/ or just get in a catfight with you and steal it.

    My daughter is almost 7 and I am already mortified to hell that she is already a Femmebot in training. As a Gemini, she is uniquely suited to breaking male hearts (including mine). My son is 15.5 and I am constantly terrified… having been a 15.5 boy at one time, many, many, many, many, many years ago. (On a planet in a galaxy far, far away…)

    As parents, we want them to be better, do better, have more, see more, etc… so long as they have our same taste in clothing, music and literature. The fact that my daughter likes to sit and write stories gives me hope for her. My son is a walking bag-o-hormones at the moment- which means I try to keep him on a short leash (with a choke collar) so he doesn’t make me a grandfather before I hit 40. I’m only half sure it’s working.

    God help us all.

    The image of Caroline reaching for your hand brought a tear to my eye. I only hope I’m that lucky as either of mine cross their various thresholds. I envy that moment.

    Oh… and love the profile pic… nice rack! 😉

    Reply
  15. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:57 am

    As always — Mack as supportive brother! 😉

    Reply
  16. Tim Jackson says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:57 am

    I LOVE the title of the blog! I wish MY name was Ann so I could copy it and/ or just get in a catfight with you and steal it.

    My daughter is almost 7 and I am already mortified to hell that she is already a Femmebot in training. As a Gemini, she is uniquely suited to breaking male hearts (including mine). My son is 15.5 and I am constantly terrified… having been a 15.5 boy at one time, many, many, many, many, many years ago. (On a planet in a galaxy far, far away…)

    As parents, we want them to be better, do better, have more, see more, etc… so long as they have our same taste in clothing, music and literature. The fact that my daughter likes to sit and write stories gives me hope for her. My son is a walking bag-o-hormones at the moment- which means I try to keep him on a short leash (with a choke collar) so he doesn’t make me a grandfather before I hit 40. I’m only half sure it’s working.

    God help us all.

    The image of Caroline reaching for your hand brought a tear to my eye. I only hope I’m that lucky as either of mine cross their various thresholds. I envy that moment.

    Oh… and love the profile pic… nice rack! 😉

    Reply
  17. Toby says

    January 27, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    Ann – adding my welcome and “this is one blog I’ve been waiting for” congrats! Love the photo of annarchy as a little girl 🙂

    Reply
  18. Toby says

    January 27, 2008 at 8:59 am

    Ann – adding my welcome and “this is one blog I’ve been waiting for” congrats! Love the photo of annarchy as a little girl 🙂

    Reply
  19. Scott Schablow says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Ann, What a great story. I’m almost beside myself thinking of my own 12 year old daughter, who can be all dressed up for the middle school dance as a beautiful young lady or sitting on a rainy day playing Barbies with her younger brothers (don’t tell the boys’ friends I said that). It’s a transitional time and I watch with wonder, every happy thought and grumpy mood she has. I am learning how to know when to offer support and when to back away. I think it’s working. Only time will tell. I think you’ve inspired me to start my own personal blog. My marketing posts are lost among the ‘clever clutter.’ Oh and tell me, Mack is NOT really your brother, right? He’s a Twitter bud of mine: sschablow.

    Reply
  20. Scott Schablow says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:00 am

    Ann, What a great story. I’m almost beside myself thinking of my own 12 year old daughter, who can be all dressed up for the middle school dance as a beautiful young lady or sitting on a rainy day playing Barbies with her younger brothers (don’t tell the boys’ friends I said that). It’s a transitional time and I watch with wonder, every happy thought and grumpy mood she has. I am learning how to know when to offer support and when to back away. I think it’s working. Only time will tell. I think you’ve inspired me to start my own personal blog. My marketing posts are lost among the ‘clever clutter.’ Oh and tell me, Mack is NOT really your brother, right? He’s a Twitter bud of mine: sschablow.

    Reply
  21. Mack Collier says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Scott I’m not really Ann’s brother, but don’t tell anyone. And it’s funny because I told Ann the same thing, that reading this makes me think about starting my own ‘personal’ blog. That thar’s some damned fine writin’!

    Reply
  22. Mack Collier says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Scott I’m not really Ann’s brother, but don’t tell anyone. And it’s funny because I told Ann the same thing, that reading this makes me think about starting my own ‘personal’ blog. That thar’s some damned fine writin’!

    Reply
  23. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    Tim — Thanks for stopping by. Caroline has a 16-year-old brother, so I know what you mean about the teen years. Some days, he’s 16 going on 60. Other days, he’s 16 going on 6. (If you are reading this Evan — love you, honey!)

    Toby — You are too kind. Thank you so very much.

    Scott and Mack — Time to start your own blogs that aren’t about marketing. I hear blogging is the Next Big Thing! ; )

    Reply
  24. Ike Pigott says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    Who says you can’t have both? My personal life informs my musings on communications, and vice/versa. You just have to be okay with the notion of having no readers.

    Reply
  25. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:05 am

    Tim — Thanks for stopping by. Caroline has a 16-year-old brother, so I know what you mean about the teen years. Some days, he’s 16 going on 60. Other days, he’s 16 going on 6. (If you are reading this Evan — love you, honey!)

    Toby — You are too kind. Thank you so very much.

    Scott and Mack — Time to start your own blogs that aren’t about marketing. I hear blogging is the Next Big Thing! ; )

    Reply
  26. Ike says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:05 am

    Who says you can’t have both? My personal life informs my musings on communications, and vice/versa. You just have to be okay with the notion of having no readers.

    Reply
  27. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Thanks for the comment, Ike.

    As I told you on email: For me, I didn’t feel comfortable putting my personal stuff on the marketing blog, because it’s not really MY blog — it’s a group blog I run with many other writers, for MarketingProfs. I think it’s fine to have both in one spot if you “own” both — in the sense that you are the sole (or almost-sole) writer and voice represented. But that option didn’t work for me.

    Anyway — thanks for your two pesos.

    Reply
  28. Ike Pigott says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Sorry, Ann… the comment wasn’t aimed at you. I understand your situation completely.

    It was really pointed at the mindset that personal and professional opinions shouldn’t mix, because it “dilutes” the content. I’ve seen many posts that tout SEO and marketing and positioning that recommend keeping a very tight focus on your content. But what is best for SEO isn’t always best for your readers. In this late hour, I think I shifted mental gears without engaging the cerebral clutch.

    (Is it just me, or does it look like you could put my avatar right above Ann’s and come away with a highly-disturbing composite..?)

    Reply
  29. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:06 am

    Thanks for the comment, Ike.

    As I told you on email: For me, I didn’t feel comfortable putting my personal stuff on the marketing blog, because it’s not really MY blog — it’s a group blog I run with many other writers, for MarketingProfs. I think it’s fine to have both in one spot if you “own” both — in the sense that you are the sole (or almost-sole) writer and voice represented. But that option didn’t work for me.

    Anyway — thanks for your two pesos.

    Reply
  30. Ike says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:06 am

    Sorry, Ann… the comment wasn’t aimed at you. I understand your situation completely.

    It was really pointed at the mindset that personal and professional opinions shouldn’t mix, because it “dilutes” the content. I’ve seen many posts that tout SEO and marketing and positioning that recommend keeping a very tight focus on your content. But what is best for SEO isn’t always best for your readers. In this late hour, I think I shifted mental gears without engaging the cerebral clutch.

    (Is it just me, or does it look like you could put my avatar right above Ann’s and come away with a highly-disturbing composite..?)

    Reply
  31. Beccy Knowles says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    Congratulations Ann! And yes I can relate…but you knew that. I look forward to more…from your blog and this rollercoaster on which we ride.

    LYLAS

    Reply
  32. Beccy Knowles says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:07 am

    Congratulations Ann! And yes I can relate…but you knew that. I look forward to more…from your blog and this rollercoaster on which we ride.

    LYLAS

    Reply
  33. David Reich - my 2 cents says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Great piece, Ann.

    Clothes shopping — it’s in the genes. My wife won’t let me go shopping with her because I become a different person — impatient and grumpy. My daughter, now 30, feels the same way about having me around when she shops.

    Two years ago I thought it would be nice to bond with them as they announced they were going to Lord & Taylor. I thought I was on such good behavior — going through the racks and suggesting my daughter try this or that on.

    Within 10 minutes in the women’s clothing department, my wife and daughter asked me to leave. I found myself banished — very happily — to the CD department in the Border’s next door.

    Reply
  34. Cam Beck says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    It sounds like you have a lovely daughter and can be very proud.

    I relate to David’s comment above. I’m much more comfortable at a bookstore than shopping in a mall, and even more so than shopping for things I don’t want my kids to want.

    The answer I give to these things is often “no,” but I would rather bypass those things altogether and not have to witness the look of longing that my son displays when he covets something he knows I won’t let him have. 🙂

    Reply
  35. David Reich - my 2 cents says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:09 am

    Great piece, Ann.

    Clothes shopping — it’s in the genes. My wife won’t let me go shopping with her because I become a different person — impatient and grumpy. My daughter, now 30, feels the same way about having me around when she shops.

    Two years ago I thought it would be nice to bond with them as they announced they were going to Lord & Taylor. I thought I was on such good behavior — going through the racks and suggesting my daughter try this or that on.

    Within 10 minutes in the women’s clothing department, my wife and daughter asked me to leave. I found myself banished — very happily — to the CD department in the Border’s next door.

    Reply
  36. Cam Beck says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:09 am

    It sounds like you have a lovely daughter and can be very proud.

    I relate to David’s comment above. I’m much more comfortable at a bookstore than shopping in a mall, and even more so than shopping for things I don’t want my kids to want.

    The answer I give to these things is often “no,” but I would rather bypass those things altogether and not have to witness the look of longing that my son displays when he covets something he knows I won’t let him have. 🙂

    Reply
  37. Tara says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Hi Ann-
    I followed a link to your new blog in Twitter and it’s hard to describe the unexpected delight of finding it to be not about marketing (though I love your marketing stuff) but about YOU! And you are right — it is okay. I, too, have plenty of those feelings about the divergence that happens as a child becomes more and more of himself rather than simply reflecting his biggest influencers — and my son is only 6! But I just keep reminding myself that he’s just doing exactly what he’s supposed to — the adjustment is all about me.

    I’m looking forward to reading more about the life of Ann. 🙂

    Reply
  38. Andrea Learned says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    All I can say is.. it’s about time the world got to read some of the great writing I’ve experienced in so many of our personal emails! I LOVE the Annarchy photo of you – I SO see Caroline in there…

    Congrats and you are an inspiration…

    Reply
  39. Tara says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:10 am

    Hi Ann-
    I followed a link to your new blog in Twitter and it’s hard to describe the unexpected delight of finding it to be not about marketing (though I love your marketing stuff) but about YOU! And you are right — it is okay. I, too, have plenty of those feelings about the divergence that happens as a child becomes more and more of himself rather than simply reflecting his biggest influencers — and my son is only 6! But I just keep reminding myself that he’s just doing exactly what he’s supposed to — the adjustment is all about me.

    I’m looking forward to reading more about the life of Ann. 🙂

    Reply
  40. Andrea Learned says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:10 am

    All I can say is.. it’s about time the world got to read some of the great writing I’ve experienced in so many of our personal emails! I LOVE the Annarchy photo of you – I SO see Caroline in there…

    Congrats and you are an inspiration…

    Reply
  41. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    Ike — No sweat. Actually, I agree with you — that it’s ok to mix personal and business. Might be good fodder for a good future blog post on, say, MarketingProfs.

    Bec — LYLAS too! I’m potentially honored at the prospect that this is your first blog comment.. is it?

    David R — Funny story. I can just see you trying so hard to be into the shopping trip — and your wife and daughter exchanging eye rolls behind your back. (”Mom! Tell him to leave!”)

    Cam — Thanks for stopping by! A simple “no” generally does work. Like if Caroline wanted a shopping trip at Hot Topics… well, that’s a Big Fat No. But sometimes I don’t feel strongly — like in the case of this shopping trip. And sometimes — I might not *like* it, but I get that it’s important to the child, for a reason outside of me. (As in the case of Evan’s Kimby.)

    Tara — Great to see you here! And you are right — you get it. The adjustment is all about us… not them. They are just living their lives as people independent of us. Which kinda sucks, sometimes. ; )

    Reply
  42. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:11 am

    Ike — No sweat. Actually, I agree with you — that it’s ok to mix personal and business. Might be good fodder for a good future blog post on, say, MarketingProfs.

    Bec — LYLAS too! I’m potentially honored at the prospect that this is your first blog comment.. is it?

    David R — Funny story. I can just see you trying so hard to be into the shopping trip — and your wife and daughter exchanging eye rolls behind your back. (”Mom! Tell him to leave!”)

    Cam — Thanks for stopping by! A simple “no” generally does work. Like if Caroline wanted a shopping trip at Hot Topics… well, that’s a Big Fat No. But sometimes I don’t feel strongly — like in the case of this shopping trip. And sometimes — I might not *like* it, but I get that it’s important to the child, for a reason outside of me. (As in the case of Evan’s Kimby.)

    Tara — Great to see you here! And you are right — you get it. The adjustment is all about us… not them. They are just living their lives as people independent of us. Which kinda sucks, sometimes. ; )

    Reply
  43. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Andrea — Thanks a lot. I definitely appreciate your encouragement, too.

    Reply
  44. Ryan Karpeles says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Rock on, Ann. This space has needed your refreshing voice for a long, long time 😉

    Reply
  45. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:12 am

    Andrea — Thanks a lot. I definitely appreciate your encouragement, too.

    Reply
  46. Ryan Karpeles says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:12 am

    Rock on, Ann. This space has needed your refreshing voice for a long, long time 😉

    Reply
  47. gbgbusiness says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    Awesome blog…great!

    Reply
  48. Drew McLellan says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    Ann,

    I’m right there with you. Trying to look inconspicuous in AF or Hollister. Close enough to offer an opinion when asked (and of course, to pay) but not too close that I’m hovering or God forbid, some of her friends walk in.

    For the guy commenters — here is some unsolicited advice. Be brave enough to wade into the water. My daughter and I have had some amazing conversations because I entered her world.

    Does it make me less of a dork? Probably not. Today.

    Added benefit — after 14 years of shopping together and me commenting on the appropriateness or lack thereof in some of the clothing options — I have never had my daughter buy something I wouldn’t let her wear. She sees the clothes through both her and my eyes.

    Drew

    PS — Ann, this was a long time in coming. Very nice.

    Reply
  49. gbgbusiness says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:13 am

    Awesome blog…great!

    Reply
  50. Drew McLellan says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:13 am

    Ann,

    I’m right there with you. Trying to look inconspicuous in AF or Hollister. Close enough to offer an opinion when asked (and of course, to pay) but not too close that I’m hovering or God forbid, some of her friends walk in.

    For the guy commenters — here is some unsolicited advice. Be brave enough to wade into the water. My daughter and I have had some amazing conversations because I entered her world.

    Does it make me less of a dork? Probably not. Today.

    Added benefit — after 14 years of shopping together and me commenting on the appropriateness or lack thereof in some of the clothing options — I have never had my daughter buy something I wouldn’t let her wear. She sees the clothes through both her and my eyes.

    Drew

    PS — Ann, this was a long time in coming. Very nice.

    Reply
  51. Cam Beck says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Ann and Drew –
    Thankfully my daughter is too young to require my entry into that foray, but I’m sure she’ll run me through the ringer in due course. I appreciate the perspectives.

    Right now my son, though, is dealing with some of that. The “Hot Topics” reference was a little close to home. 🙂

    Reply
  52. Cam Beck says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Ann and Drew –
    Thankfully my daughter is too young to require my entry into that foray, but I’m sure she’ll run me through the ringer in due course. I appreciate the perspectives.

    Right now my son, though, is dealing with some of that. The “Hot Topics” reference was a little close to home. 🙂

    Reply
  53. Gavin Heaton says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    Great story, Ann. Sounds like I have a lot of things to look forward to 😉

    Great to see you putting the Ann in the Annarchy!

    Reply
  54. romi41 says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    I am 26 years old, and I bought a few t-shirts at Hollister 6 months ago, but I haven’t been back since. I mean I like me a “brightly coloured t-shirt”, and they were reasonably priced, but the entire time I was in that store, I felt like a mis-placed Golden Girl, you know?

    Reply
  55. Gavin Heaton says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:15 am

    Great story, Ann. Sounds like I have a lot of things to look forward to 😉

    Great to see you putting the Ann in the Annarchy!

    Reply
  56. romi41 says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:15 am

    I am 26 years old, and I bought a few t-shirts at Hollister 6 months ago, but I haven’t been back since. I mean I like me a “brightly coloured t-shirt”, and they were reasonably priced, but the entire time I was in that store, I felt like a mis-placed Golden Girl, you know?

    Reply
  57. portorikan says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    Thanks for writing this. I really enjoyed reading it.

    I have no kids of my own and have been married barely one year, but this was a great read. Thanks.

    Reply
  58. Bethann says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    As always…. excellent work. Keep it up,
    I am a bit ahead of you in the kid-time continuum – I feel your pain!
    When did we get here??

    Are you SURE that is you??

    Reply
  59. portorikan says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:16 am

    Thanks for writing this. I really enjoyed reading it.

    I have no kids of my own and have been married barely one year, but this was a great read. Thanks.

    Reply
  60. Bethann says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:16 am

    As always…. excellent work. Keep it up,
    I am a bit ahead of you in the kid-time continuum – I feel your pain!
    When did we get here??

    Are you SURE that is you??

    Reply
  61. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    Thanks, all… really appreciate the kind words. Really.

    Bethann — Yes, it’s me, in front of my Dad’s car, according to my sister Pat!

    Reply
  62. Ann says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:33 am

    Thanks, all… really appreciate the kind words. Really.

    Bethann — Yes, it’s me, in front of my Dad’s car, according to my sister Pat!

    Reply
  63. Bob says

    January 28, 2008 at 2:25 am

    The dance of independence and interdependence – I have three grown sons and 7 grandsons and somehow hear the music and see the steps more clearly from the distance of one generation (or so I imagine). ” You can be anything you want to be” ” Colour inside the lines” ” Try it yourself, I am sure you can do it” ” Always be honest” ” Don’t tell grandma she is looking old” Pick out whatever you like” ” Are you sure”.

    Memory acts as a costume designer for our experiences so I am not sure what actually happened when my boys were adolescents but I am enjoying watching them as fathers.
    Thanks Ann for stepping into the scary arena.

    Reply
  64. Steve Woodruff says

    January 28, 2008 at 2:25 am

    Ann,

    Wonderful opening effort. And very timely – I am in the throes of trying to ease into the grave my pre-packaged expectations of my boys (5 of them) and learn to embrace them as they are – which definitely yanks me out of my comfort zone (it is nice that the littlest one still holds my hand).

    Look forward to more of your musings here at Annarchy.

    Reply
  65. Bob says

    January 27, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    The dance of independence and interdependence – I have three grown sons and 7 grandsons and somehow hear the music and see the steps more clearly from the distance of one generation (or so I imagine). ” You can be anything you want to be” ” Colour inside the lines” ” Try it yourself, I am sure you can do it” ” Always be honest” ” Don’t tell grandma she is looking old” Pick out whatever you like” ” Are you sure”.

    Memory acts as a costume designer for our experiences so I am not sure what actually happened when my boys were adolescents but I am enjoying watching them as fathers.
    Thanks Ann for stepping into the scary arena.

    Reply
  66. Steve Woodruff says

    January 27, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Ann,

    Wonderful opening effort. And very timely – I am in the throes of trying to ease into the grave my pre-packaged expectations of my boys (5 of them) and learn to embrace them as they are – which definitely yanks me out of my comfort zone (it is nice that the littlest one still holds my hand).

    Look forward to more of your musings here at Annarchy.

    Reply
  67. B.L Ochman says

    January 28, 2008 at 2:26 am

    What a treat to see you writing about you!

    Weird as it sounds, welcome to the blogosphere!

    You’re really a wonderful writer. I felt like I was there with you on the shopping trip.

    Reply
  68. B.L Ochman says

    January 27, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    What a treat to see you writing about you!

    Weird as it sounds, welcome to the blogosphere!

    You’re really a wonderful writer. I felt like I was there with you on the shopping trip.

    Reply
  69. David Felfoldi says

    January 28, 2008 at 5:31 am

    I have nieces and nephews in their teens from Ohio that, when the Christmas list comes up, inevitably there will be a request for Hollister or Aeropostale wear. But I can’t blame them — have you been to Ohio? All there is to do is shop and look like you are from somewhere else (like, oh, California).

    I wasn’t surprised when I discovered that A&F owned Hollister. It’s similar to how Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic are all owned by the same company. The goal is to dress someone from cradle to grave. Commercials touting bargain prices and great fashion for teens (Old Navy) to one’s twenties (you are how old and still go to Old Navy? Grow up to Gap) to late adulthood (I can now afford that $250 cashmere sweater)!. An entire lifetime dedicated to Old Navy/Gap/Banana Republic. “Woot.”

    What amazes me, however, is that Hollister was able to differentiate itself from A&F’s rather niche market of white 12-18 year olds from suburbia. Same shirt-less 20-something models (the clothes are somewhere in that ad), same low-lighting, loud music bar scene, but I guess more surfer-like with less expensive prices. Wait, could it be the Old Navy of the Gap family legend?

    Word of advice for which you didn’t ask: No grown adult would be seen wearing A&F. Ever. Those that do, you simply have to worry. The same goes for Hollister but worse — an adult wearing Hollister is thought to be weird by youngins. Do not buy clothes from there to “fit in” with your child’s crowd. It won’t work and you will cause irreparable damage to them.

    Cherish that hand as long as you can.

    Reply
  70. David Felfoldi says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    I have nieces and nephews in their teens from Ohio that, when the Christmas list comes up, inevitably there will be a request for Hollister or Aeropostale wear. But I can’t blame them — have you been to Ohio? All there is to do is shop and look like you are from somewhere else (like, oh, California).

    I wasn’t surprised when I discovered that A&F owned Hollister. It’s similar to how Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic are all owned by the same company. The goal is to dress someone from cradle to grave. Commercials touting bargain prices and great fashion for teens (Old Navy) to one’s twenties (you are how old and still go to Old Navy? Grow up to Gap) to late adulthood (I can now afford that $250 cashmere sweater)!. An entire lifetime dedicated to Old Navy/Gap/Banana Republic. “Woot.”

    What amazes me, however, is that Hollister was able to differentiate itself from A&F’s rather niche market of white 12-18 year olds from suburbia. Same shirt-less 20-something models (the clothes are somewhere in that ad), same low-lighting, loud music bar scene, but I guess more surfer-like with less expensive prices. Wait, could it be the Old Navy of the Gap family legend?

    Word of advice for which you didn’t ask: No grown adult would be seen wearing A&F. Ever. Those that do, you simply have to worry. The same goes for Hollister but worse — an adult wearing Hollister is thought to be weird by youngins. Do not buy clothes from there to “fit in” with your child’s crowd. It won’t work and you will cause irreparable damage to them.

    Cherish that hand as long as you can.

    Reply
  71. Mukund Mohan says

    January 28, 2008 at 5:46 am

    Hey Ann
    Very nice, I cannot relate yet, but my 6 year old’s going to give me the same sensibility soon, is my guess.

    Reply
  72. Mukund Mohan says

    January 27, 2008 at 9:46 pm

    Hey Ann
    Very nice, I cannot relate yet, but my 6 year old’s going to give me the same sensibility soon, is my guess.

    Reply
  73. Alan Lopuszynski says

    January 28, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Before I had kids, I’d sit in the mall – paralyzed in fear and dread – and watch the teen boys and girls hang out, in various stages of dress and undress as they posed, paraded and preyed upon each other. In some ways I’m overjoyed to have only boys now, although I know that their teen years will bring all manner of different and unexpected obstacles just as having girls must.

    Wonderful to see you blogging in a new format, Ann, and thanks for giving me yet another daily distraction of a decidedly non work-related nature. I added your feed to my Netvibes page before I’d read a single word!

    Reply
  74. Alan Lopuszynski says

    January 28, 2008 at 6:28 am

    Before I had kids, I’d sit in the mall – paralyzed in fear and dread – and watch the teen boys and girls hang out, in various stages of dress and undress as they posed, paraded and preyed upon each other. In some ways I’m overjoyed to have only boys now, although I know that their teen years will bring all manner of different and unexpected obstacles just as having girls must.

    Wonderful to see you blogging in a new format, Ann, and thanks for giving me yet another daily distraction of a decidedly non work-related nature. I added your feed to my Netvibes page before I’d read a single word!

    Reply
  75. Ann Handley says

    January 28, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    Bob, Steve, Mukund, BL, Alan:Thanks for the feedback & support.

    And David — funny thing: We stood next to a 40-ish Mom in Hollister wearing an A&F; tshirt. All I can say is… agreed. It wasn’t pretty.

    Reply
  76. Ann Handley says

    January 28, 2008 at 8:05 am

    Bob, Steve, Mukund, BL, Alan:Thanks for the feedback & support.

    And David — funny thing: We stood next to a 40-ish Mom in Hollister wearing an A&F tshirt. All I can say is… agreed. It wasn’t pretty.

    Reply
  77. Ann Handley says

    January 28, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Alan: Wow… that’s an endorsement. You are the best! How old are you kids now?

    Reply
  78. Ann Handley says

    January 28, 2008 at 8:06 am

    Alan: Wow… that’s an endorsement. You are the best! How old are you kids now?

    Reply
  79. Daniel Monday says

    January 28, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Yay, your own blog! Glad you got it up and running, and I second everyone’s comment on the title – very fitting : )

    When I finally decide to re-enter the blogosphere I’ll definitely drop in to see what’s what with you here, and leave my 2 (maybe 3) cents of course!

    Reply
  80. Daniel Monday says

    January 28, 2008 at 9:09 am

    Yay, your own blog! Glad you got it up and running, and I second everyone’s comment on the title – very fitting : )

    When I finally decide to re-enter the blogosphere I’ll definitely drop in to see what’s what with you here, and leave my 2 (maybe 3) cents of course!

    Reply
  81. Eric Kintz says

    January 28, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    So you start a new blog and you don’t even tell me? 🙂

    Reply
  82. Eric Kintz says

    January 28, 2008 at 10:41 am

    So you start a new blog and you don’t even tell me? 🙂

    Reply
  83. Nancy says

    January 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Go Annie!
    If the mall gets to be too much, I’ll send the girls to bring Caroline around. Lib shops at Salvation Army and Christine prefers Nieman’s, Should be interesting! Could have sworn the car was Uncle Tom’s. Love ya!

    Reply
  84. Nancy says

    January 29, 2008 at 4:51 am

    Go Annie!
    If the mall gets to be too much, I’ll send the girls to bring Caroline around. Lib shops at Salvation Army and Christine prefers Nieman’s, Should be interesting! Could have sworn the car was Uncle Tom’s. Love ya!

    Reply
  85. Jeremiah Owyang says

    January 30, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    I’ve been to Hollister too, have you noticed the strange sweet scents they pump into the air? I think it’s a teen derived Pheromone.

    Reply
  86. Jeremiah Owyang says

    January 30, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    I’ve been to Hollister too, have you noticed the strange sweet scents they pump into the air? I think it’s a teen derived Pheromone.

    Reply
  87. Ann Handley says

    January 30, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    Jeremiah — Yes, I have… you might be right! It takes a few wash cycles to get the stink out, actually…

    Reply
  88. Ann Handley says

    January 30, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Jeremiah — Yes, I have… you might be right! It takes a few wash cycles to get the stink out, actually…

    Reply
  89. Leigh Duncan-Durst says

    February 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    Bo-nanny –

    I love this post and the weblog!

    It’s simply anntastic! (guffaw!) Can’t wait to read more!

    Leigh (your biggest fann)

    Reply
  90. Leigh Duncan-Durst says

    February 1, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Bo-nanny –

    I love this post and the weblog!

    It’s simply anntastic! (guffaw!) Can’t wait to read more!

    Leigh (your biggest fann)

    Reply
  91. B.L Ochman says

    February 2, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Apropos your post, I think you might like this little movie by my friend Gretchen Rubin, whose blog is The Happiness Project. http://www.theyearsareshort.com/landing.html

    Reply
  92. B.L Ochman says

    February 2, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Apropos your post, I think you might like this little movie by my friend Gretchen Rubin, whose blog is The Happiness Project. http://www.theyearsareshort.com/landing.html

    Reply
  93. Lynn McLoughlin says

    February 4, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    wow, I loved this one! I was right there with you with my preteen! loved the night club reference – so true…mostly loved your endless humorous twist on the ordinary creating the extraordinary!! By the way, that store freaks me out.
    love,
    Lynn

    Reply
  94. Lynn McLoughlin says

    February 4, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    wow, I loved this one! I was right there with you with my preteen! loved the night club reference – so true…mostly loved your endless humorous twist on the ordinary creating the extraordinary!! By the way, that store freaks me out.
    love,
    Lynn

    Reply
  95. Lani Peterson says

    February 6, 2008 at 12:25 am

    Wow! And I thought I was the storyteller! What a ball for all of us to get a peak into what is really going on inside there! You are inspiring…your thoughts AND the way you convey them. I want more. And I’m reallly beginning to get the idea of what a blog can be…and do. What a wonderful community you are bringing together and creating for all of us. Thanks for all.
    Lani

    Reply
  96. Lani Peterson says

    February 5, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    Wow! And I thought I was the storyteller! What a ball for all of us to get a peak into what is really going on inside there! You are inspiring…your thoughts AND the way you convey them. I want more. And I’m reallly beginning to get the idea of what a blog can be…and do. What a wonderful community you are bringing together and creating for all of us. Thanks for all.
    Lani

    Reply
  97. S. Russell says

    February 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Ann, great work for making this blog happen! I loved reading this piece. Your funny, irreverent connections came through so clearly.All so true,- strap on your seatbelt, Momma! Did I ever send you the photo of Caroline and Lee both aged about 3 that I took in the park?
    love&woof,
    -s.xox

    Reply
  98. S. Russell says

    February 6, 2008 at 7:37 am

    Ann, great work for making this blog happen! I loved reading this piece. Your funny, irreverent connections came through so clearly.All so true,- strap on your seatbelt, Momma! Did I ever send you the photo of Caroline and Lee both aged about 3 that I took in the park?
    love&woof,
    -s.xox

    Reply
  99. Rae Rae says

    February 13, 2008 at 12:49 am

    Good God Ann; you have a lot of friends! Love the blog. It’s great to be in your head from time to time. xoxo Rae Rae

    Reply
  100. Rae Rae says

    February 12, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    Good God Ann; you have a lot of friends! Love the blog. It’s great to be in your head from time to time. xoxo Rae Rae

    Reply
  101. Ann Handley says

    February 13, 2008 at 2:57 am

    Thanks Rae, Lani, Lynn, Susan and Leigh — some of my most favorite people all in one spot. (Cool for me!)

    Reply
  102. Ann Handley says

    February 12, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    Thanks Rae, Lani, Lynn, Susan and Leigh — some of my most favorite people all in one spot. (Cool for me!)

    Reply
  103. Ad Broad says

    March 2, 2008 at 3:00 am

    Glad to discover this blog, thanks to virtual pal Toad. Wonderful story, Ann. Feels like I was there just minutes ago. (My girls are in college.) Buckle your seat belt. Look forward to reading about your ride.

    Reply
  104. Ad Broad says

    March 1, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    Glad to discover this blog, thanks to virtual pal Toad. Wonderful story, Ann. Feels like I was there just minutes ago. (My girls are in college.) Buckle your seat belt. Look forward to reading about your ride.

    Reply
  105. Christmas Ideas says

    December 11, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    I’ll right away take hold of your rss as I can not to find your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me recognise so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

    Reply

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