I used to think that being afraid of everything was a weakness. Then I learned how to “follow the fear,” and use fear to my advantage. This is an annotated version of a talk I gave on the Bold Talks stage at Hubspot‘s INBOUND event. I published the essay that became the basis for this […]
Family History
Missing
My mother died 25 years ago yesterday, when she was 62. I realized this fact sometime last night, and it astounded me. First I was astounded because I remembered how, at the time, I thought that she was appropriately old enough when she died after a lengthy illness. (Whatever that means—another thing I now realize […]
Scavenged
We set off on foot, the six of us, under an azure sky as big as the ocean. The breeze off the water smelled of salt and September, and the dune grasses bent toward each other, whispering the news that fall was coming. It was a picture-perfect, precious August day, the kind of day that […]
Awkward Family Photos
As I sometimes reveal here, there is something universal about the awkwardness of family. About a week ago, two childhood friends launched a site to document as much. The results — in the vein of LOLCats and Stuff White People Like — are hilarious: The Choker: “This is what happens when your male role model […]
‘What Happened to Your Nose?’
It’s usually children and foreigners who ask: those who have no sense of propriety or privacy, or those who consider Westerners too uptight about all the wrong things, and, paradoxically, not uptight enough about others. The waiter at the Indian restaurant sympathetically gestures toward his own, toast-colored nose and inquires in heavily accented English, “Oooh… […]
Wii Are Family
In college, I had a friend named Jane. She was the oldest daughter in a family of tennis players, and they all looked like her: tall and willowy, but strong as thoroughbreds, with defined muscles in their long arms and legs; permanently sunburned noses; and an effortless way of moving that was almost heartbreaking to […]
Evergreen Christmas
1970 It’s four days before Christmas, and my father finally retrieves from beneath the cellar stairs the huge Sears box that houses our Christmas tree. The tree is heavy, its metal trunk solid and plumed with thick branches trimmed with rough-cut green cellophane that simulates pine needles. It’s the only Christmas tree I’ve ever known, […]
Punked
When the flight attendant advises that passengers place the oxygen mask over their own faces before assisting those traveling with them, I always interpret this imperative more broadly—that I should take care of my own needs first, whether or not I’m strapped into an airplane seat, 30,000 feet in the air. Day to day, this […]
Birthday Boy
Thirteen years ago today, we threw a first birthday party for our blond, apple-cheeked boy. Three months later to the day, he would be dead, from a virulent and rare form of strep. One day he was sitting in my lap with a book, clapping his hands when we came to his favorite page. And […]