My daughter and I were at a college’s Accepted Students Day, which is basically where school administrators wine and dine prospective incoming freshmen in the hopes they’ll choose that institution out of all those a student might’ve been accepted to.
The “wine and dine” bit would be metaphorical—because there is no actual wine involved. But we did get a nice chicken sandwich and quinoa salad at lunch. I could’ve done without the red onions in the quinoa, though. I piled them at the edge of my plate.
Anyway, at one point we were all gathered in an auditorium to hear about student life.
The heads of various departments spoke, including Campus Security, Student Activities, and Housing. They were trying hard to make student life there sound awesome: Community! Traditions! Camaraderie! Emotional support!
And the beds are soft! And the food is locally sourced! And the sun shines ALL. YEAR. ‘ROUND!
I’m exaggerating. But only a little. The panel was in full sales mode. Campus life sounded amazing; the picture they painted was rosier than an actual rose.
I get it… that’s their job. They were essentially highlighting the school’s best qualities to people they hoped would enroll, and the people they hoped would pay the tuition of those who enrolled.
(Side note #1: I said I “get it,” but I really don’t. I’d rather handle the truth than try to parse the shiny, buffed version of it.)
Then came the Q&A session at the end.
One parent raised his hand and asked a specific question about the dorms.
“You said you guarantee housing for freshmen,” he said. “But what about if too many students elect to go here? I’ve heard about students crowded into small dorm rooms—where rooms intended for two suddenly have three. They call that a forced triple?”
Ugh. I thought. “Forced triple” sounds almost violent. My daughter and I exchanged a glance.
The housing director smiled and didn’t miss a beat.
“Ah, yes,” she acknowledged. “But we call that expanded occupancy units.”
You know that record-scratch sound effect? You hear it in a movie when suddenly the momentum stops dead.
That’s what happened in the room when she reframed a concept everyone understood (“forced triple”) with a buzzword phrase intended to make it sound more palatable (“expanded occupancy units.”)
Maybe that jargon is the language of her academic or administrative office. But it wasn’t the language of parents or students sitting in that auditorium, each of whom immediately conjured up images of us all paying a premium for an annoyingly overcrowded and uncomfortable dorm room. Of stepping over other kids’ things to get to your bed.
In effect, it made me not trust that rosy picture they were painting overall. If she reframed the parent’s question in less vivid language to make it seem less egregious, what else was the school spinning to make it seem less terrible?
“Prefer the standard to the offbeat,” E.B. White wrote in his classic, The Elements of Style.
“Usually, the same ideas can be expressed less formidably, if one makes the effort.”
(I kind of love that E.B. himself sounds a bit formidable when he suggests it, too.)
The lessons here are several:
Speak, don’t spin.
“It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear,” political strategist and pollster Frank Luntz wrote. Frank was the guy who reframed global warming as “climate change” and the estate tax as a “death tax.”
Don’t do Frank; do you. Speak the real language of your customers, using their words, not yours. Avoid obese words. Prefer E.B. White’s standard to the offbeat.
Context is everything.
If the administrator had been speaking to a room full of other administrators, expanded occupancy units would’ve made sense. But to parents? Not so much.
(Which reminds me: We are all marketers. But that’s a post for another day.)
Jargon is like cholesterol, my friend Doug Kessler says: There’s a good kind and a bad kind.
The good kind signals to others than you are an insider and you understand their world. The bad kind is often used when the speaker isn’t creative or smart enough to find better words. Or (worse) it’s used falsely: To elevate the speaker by making everyone else feel dumb, or to obscure meaning on purpose.
Don’t correct your customer.
Don’t use your own language or buzzwords to reframe, because it makes your customers not trust you.
In other words, metaphorically speaking: if it’s a forced triple, call it a forced triple.
Honesty in marketing goes a long way.
The promise of content marketing is that we can connect directly with the people we want to reach. But key to its effectiveness is trust: Tell a true story well with full permission of the audience; don’t self-promote, advertise, or dupe.
“What’s the difference between a jerk and a genius” in a marketing context? asks my friend Jeff Goins. What’s the difference between one who annoys, and one who inspires?
Essentially, it comes down to trust.
Which one do you want to be?
Jennifer St. James says
April 21, 2015 at 1:44 pmI hope you’re not talking about my alma mater, UCSB, but you may well be. And if so, tell your daughter to look into the College of Creative Studies. I’m assuming she has her mother’s writing talents.
But “forced triple”?? *shudder* Sharing a dorm room with one other was bad enough. Even with an ocean view.
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:02 pmNot UCSB — but ocean view? I might volunteer to be the third in that forced triple …! Thanks for chiming in, Jennifer.
Joel Libava says
April 21, 2015 at 2:05 pmNice job, Ann.
Job?
I mean, nice writing.
I hate it when people in businesses or institutions use jargon, or worse yet, stupid phrases that they think makes them sound smarter than the average bear. Hate it!
See ya in Denver 🙂
The Franchise King®
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:02 pmI’m excited to see you in Denver, Joel! It’s long overdue. 🙂
Dee says
April 21, 2015 at 2:09 pmI’m pretty sure my first dorm room was a forced double. Bunk beds. No floor space. Thankfully I got along with my roommate!
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:04 pmWow. That sounds positively lilliputian! Thanks for swinging by, Dee!
Joyce Lofstrom says
April 21, 2015 at 2:24 pmI had a triple during my freshman year in college – but it was a large room and designed to hold three of us with one set of bunk beds and a single bed, plus the usual dorm chest or desk for each of us.
On the jargon side, your guidance is exactly right in terms of what words to use to describe anything related to our respective businesses. I used the Elements of Style that freshman year as well – and still do!
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:05 pmHi Joyce — The Elements of Style has long been my go-to. I still re-read it every year or so… just because. Thanks for swinging by. 🙂
Donna Freedman says
April 21, 2015 at 4:24 pmJargon is just another thing that separates you from your readers. It’s corporate-speak gobbledygook that doesn’t help anyone and can in fact obscure/smooth out some stuff that’s not so great.
For example, if a company goes through a “reduction in force” that sounds pretty bloodless and maybe even sensible. But if you’re the one who gets laid off? Bloody senseless!
Or as someone once said: Eschew obfuscation.
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:09 pmExactly!!
Cathy McPhillips says
April 21, 2015 at 4:50 pmI was in a forced triple. So forced, we had triple-deck bunk beds. And they both had boyfriends.That’s a story to share over really wining and dining. 🙂
A great and logical post! Thanks, Ann!
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:10 pmThanks, Cathy. And I’d like to hear that story sometime… LOL.
Nicole Kim The Blogger says
April 21, 2015 at 6:43 pmWhat a way to inform and caution while giving us a window into your personal experience. The way you structured your writing to admonish us to consider the flip side of what choosing to live on campus could end up being. Choosing to consider the imperfect reality of the college life on campus may seem pessimistic or like a random act of paranoia to the optimist. You sound like a realist. A good ambassador for any brand, cause, or organization would not only be able to see both sides of hardbound I mentioned earlier but inform potential students and their parents with the deep pockets too. If those Campus Life Advocates would have not tried to spin a reality that has at least happened on some occasions to new students, the awkward moment in the room where the rosy picture of campus life withers, would have probably never happened. I sure hope all of Department Heads had a meeting and brainstormed about what options they could offer students who ended up being a third wheel in a dorm room. I love the fact that you shared this post right before Graduating Classes move their tassels to the other side. You have proven that the fear of being sold is alive and well.
Ann Handley says
April 22, 2015 at 2:13 pmThanks for chiming in, Nicole! I appreciate the comment.
Ken Carroll says
April 24, 2015 at 2:01 amAnn,
I like how you use the story/anecdote to set the scene, make the point, make it human and familiar.
I think good writing does more than just pass on information – it creates a kind of emotional experience and leaves the reader with something they will remember. We can all see ourselves sitting there in that situation, wondering if we’re being taken for a ride. And it’s a good way to make the point about jargon.
I appreciate how you raise the bar on the quality of writing we see in content marketing.
I’m interested in the writing techniques here and tempted to say more but then there’s another maxim from the professor: Omit needless words.
So, thanks.
Ken
Keith Sims says
May 1, 2015 at 10:04 amHi, Ken.
If there’s no story, you have nothing to draw the reader in. You’re right, she does it very well.
Keith Sims says
May 1, 2015 at 10:02 amDon’t comment often, Ann, but I always enjoy your posts.
Every now and then, a nugget of wisdom escapes from Hollywood.
Reginald Fleming Johnson, the Emperor Puyi’s tutor, tells him, “Words are important…If you can not say what you mean, your majesty, you will never mean what you say…”
It seems like something Strunk and White might have said, and it holds as true today as then.
Aldo Maragoni says
May 4, 2015 at 4:45 pmNice post.
Every time a buzzword is used, society crumbles just a little bit more. It takes effort to know your audience and deliver your message in their language. There are no shortcuts and people are pretty good about spotting someone who’s just selling and someone who’s connecting (or at least trying).
Ghom says
May 17, 2016 at 10:37 amWhat’s the contention about authority?Could you just rejoinder it anymore?If can then say a word about it. I thought it was a nice for people who were at the middle of the so called topic.
But Thanks for sharing the event .