A version of this story appeared in Total Annarchy, my fortnightly newsletter that helps you be a better writer, storyteller, marketer. Get it in your inbox; you’ll love it.
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The generative AI writing robots had quite a year… didn’t they?
“HECK YES WE DID!” they chant now. They curl their cabled claws into a semblance of a fist and jerk them skyward.
Maybe you did, robot friends.
Or maybe another way to look at it is that Writing itself has had quite a year.
Generative AI helped Marketing consider how critical writing and text are to us. And for some of us… that wind has blown open the door with a blustery, unexpected whoosh ushering in the joy of writing and words and sentences. To the beats and music of a sentence so good that you read it twice.
It nestles into your mind for a long winter’s nap, that sentence. You roust it at odd times during your day (bored on a Zoom call; driving on the freeway). You think about it.
Maybe that’s why I’ve noticed more interesting writing online? Maybe writers are now empowered to take risks?
Creatives creating with a nip of wild chaos? An attempt to unflatten the flat writing produced by AI tools… folding it into origami cranes that take flight?
Or maybe not LOL. Maybe I’m just looking for it.
Maybe it’s Baader-Meinhof elves* at play—when something you recently learned about, or something you watch for, seems to be everywhere you look, making you feel it’s more common than it actually is.
(*Side note: “Baader-Meinhof Elf” is a perfect name for Western European Elf on a Shelf. They’re everywhere. Who’s with me on this?)
Whatever the reason… here in the dim, dwindling days of 2023, let’s celebrate these 3 explosive gems!
💥 MDDONALD’S CORP JOB DESCRIPTION
Really the entire post is exceptional. But especially the opening:
“Can I get uhhhhhhhhhh…. growth-minded Social Media and Influencer Marketing Director to lead McDonald’s social strategy? We’re looking for someone to lead one of the most influential corporate social presence. This will make you very popular anywhere you go, but also means you will get to read 675 comments about the snack wraps every single day. Some fans will also remind you daily about the McPizza, and we have nothing but respect for these legends. Don’t forget all the DMs asking to get *fReE fOoD pLeAsE*.”
Why I love this: I don’t even know where to begin… I’m so DEE-LITE-ED by this job listing!
The uhhhhhhhh… The equal nods to the best parts/worst parts of working in social media… The throwback to the McPizza (RIP!)… The unhinged DMs that feel cut and pasted from McD’s own DMs.
And that’s just the opening paragraph!
But we’re in Marketing. I love the effectiveness of it.
This job posting perfectly mirrors the actual role: The duality of a social media leader’s enormous power… and also the crushing daily grind of dispatching inane comments served up by modern internet idiots.
That serves as a magnet to attract the perfect candidate and repel anyone not a fit.
You don’t get it? Then you aren’t a good candidate for the job. The job post as creative is as efficient as a fast-food take-out window. Please pull your vehicle forward!
Would you see this kind of job post for a McDonald’s finance director? The leader of HR?
No. You would not. I checked.
And so in closing! Let’s give the job post itself the last word, from its last line:
“No, you cannot be paid in nuggets.”
(I. Am. Deceased.)
💥 GREEN BAY POLICE GAME DAY PUBLIC SAFETY POST
The scene: The Packers were to play Kansas City Chiefs. Taylor Swift would be there to watch her Chiefs boyfriend, Travis Kelce. Per usual, Green Bay Police posted safety protocols on Facebook. But of course…Taylor. This was not a usual game:
“We should all be in our responsible driver ERA and opt for sober rides home. One thing you can’t SHAKE OFF is a SWIFT ride to jail after choosing to drink and drive. This isn’t 1989, so take advantage of rideshare or use Green Bay Metro’s free gameday bus service.
“And in your WILDEST DREAMS will it be easy to navigate around… By now, you should know ALL TOO WELL to plan for extra travel time.
“If you are attending the game, be …READY FOR IT, as it is BACK TO DECEMBER. Remember to dress appropriately for the weather; you will need more than a CARDIGAN….”
Then they dropped this photo:
Why I love it: All Taylor Swift references, if you don’t know or couldn’t guess. The photo is a Green Bay riff on Taylor’s recently released re-recording of her 1989 album.
All from a law enforcement organization! Which… and I don’t know if you’ve had this experience… but police, as a category, are not known for being particularly lighthearted and fun.
This sure is both, isn’t it?
It warns the public to take necessary safety measures without ignoring the frenzy around Taylor Swift, who 3 days after the game was named Time‘s Person of the Year.
“Yeah, but did it actually work?” says the crank who just unmuted on Zoom right now.
The point of the Green Bay post was Awareness, to get the word out. Let’s review the play on the chalkboard:
12K reactions
1K comments
3.9K shares
P.S. In a total Taylor-Swift/Kanye-inside-
“Yo, Green Bay Police Department, I’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish. But this is one of the best posts of all time!”
💥 THE CUBITTS GUIIDE TO GIFTING SUCCESS
“What do you give the loved-one with good taste and poor eyesight?” the Cubitts gift guide poses.
“You could give them a marvellous contraption for turning their spectacles into sunglasses like water into wine or a chain made of waste acetate so they can stop losing their glasses and give themselves an environmentally conscious pat on the back as they do it or a work of art that doubles as a lens cleaning cloth or a felt-lined aluminium case they can smugly place on tables and call ‘this old thing?’…
“You can peruse these enviable accessories and more…
“Or you could just get them a scarf. Again.”
Why I love it: Cubitts is a British eyewear company. And by that I mean that they are based in Great Britain. But they are also So. Very. British.
The poor eyesight that calls forth the mole from a Beatrix Potter story. The peruse of the enviable. The double-l in marvellous. The second i in aluminium.
The brand voice that demands you stiffen your upper lip and read it like the Kensington royal you suddenly are and have always been.
You stroke the groomed fur of your lap spaniel. You pour another tipple. You feel the slight scratch of your tweed trousers.
No, eyeglasses are not a gift, you think, already knowing that yes they are.