A version of this story appeared in Total Annarchy, my fortnightly newsletter that helps you be a better writer, storyteller, marketer. Get it in your inbox; you’ll love it.
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Once a year I affix my SANNta cap to my noggin and share my best gift picks for writers, marketers, readers—and people who love us. (Go ahead and forward this to your people!)
But this year hits a little different.
Oxford’s 2025 Word of the Year is rage bait—a term that perfectly mirrors these tech-driven times, when content is often optimized for engagement regardless of consequence.
More and more that means we are meant to be riled up, ticked off, and properly peeved.
You’ve probably seen it. Someone online says the sky is blue and someone scoffs… “You dummy! The sky has no color. What you’re seeing is actually just the Rayleigh scattering—shorter wavelengths getting bounced around… blah blah blah.”
Then someone else tells them to shut up; you’re an idiot. No you are! It turns political. And meanwhile the algorithm purrs in delight… yes yes yessssss! FEED ME.
Oxford frames rage bait as a sign that our attention is being manipulated on a massive scale. So what can we do? We’re addicted to our phones. We can’t help ourselves, right? “No you can’t, sweetie,” the algorithm whispers. “Now hush… pop another TikTok.“
I’m proposing a small, meaningful counter-move.
Instead of feeding the machine… what if we gift things that help us step away from it?
Let’s make 2026 the year of analog. Starting with gifts that soothe a frayed nervous system rather than spike our cortisol—not to lull us into complacency, but to restore our humanity.
What if this season we balance the push for Artificial Intelligence with the better AI of Analog Intelligence?
So here it is: a gift list with zero rage, zero bait, and 100% offline joy.
A tiny act of rebellion. A way to reclaim a sliver of humanity in a world engineered to do the opposite.
1. THE EM DASH MERCH
I’m sure you’ve heard this, yes? That the use of em dashes means AI wrote it? Welllllllll… I’m here to tell you: NO. It does not. Here’s why.
I’m real tired of hearing this one. So I made a pop-up store PLUS fundraiser for all of us to tell the world. Open only through the end of the year. All proceeds go to animal rescue.
The fundraiser is ending soon, so grab or gift em dash merch while you can. (Please note that every store description has the same Easter Egg; if you spot it, hit reply and tell me what you think it is!)
P.S. If you’ve already grabbed yours—thank you! Share a photo on social using #JusticeforEmDashes. I’ve already seen a bunch; I’ll choose a few people to receive a surprise package from me.
2. A YEAR OF BOOKS!
Twelve titles. Curated by you specifically for someone special. (Or for you… if you do that forwarding thing I suggested in the previous scroll depth ^^.)
This is the best gift I’ve ever received, so it’s forever on my list.
Choose 12 books. Put them in a box. It’ll be heavy, substantial, as authentic as your love. And it gives all year… not just on any one day.
You could theme these puppies up in a thousand different ways.
- Write like a human not a robot
- Pulitzer reads for a prizewinning person (a selection of Pulitzer Prize winners)
- Literary AI (science fiction)
Up to one-third of bookstore sales happen between Thanksgiving and the end of the year. Source from your local bookstore or Bookshop.org. You’ll very literally keep your local store’s doors open.
3. MONOGRAMMED NOTEBOOK
Someone once gifted me a personalized notebook with my initials in fan-see-pants gold, which made it feel functional AND beautiful.
This is the one I got and still recommend. (Monogramming is free!) I like it because it has a Smyth-sewn binding, which is a centuries old book-binding technique that allows the pages to lie flat when you open the notebook to write.
Cheaper journals are glued (called “perfect” binding). They don’t feel as luxurious or accommodating to me.
BONUS! Now you, too, can throw around words like “perfect binding” and “Smyth-sewn” with the authority of someone who was class valedictorian of Notebook School.
4. MOLESKINE NOTEBOOK
Moleskine offers a rare versatility and range of journals, notebooks, and what they call cahiers.
I had to look up that word cahier. It means… well, “notebook.”
A little pretentious? Yep. But then Moleskine says their collection is “designed to unleash your human genius” and I forgave them instantly because they clearly know that genius is made between your hands and your head—not fueled by rage on social media.
If this is the year you commit to writing a daily journal, you need a fresh cahier with excellent paper feel, page layout, vibe, portability, and size (or one with a Smyth-sewn binding).
BTW: Here’s a foolproof, easy way to build a daily writing habit.
5. BLACKWING PENCILS
Buying someone you love the premium version of an everyday object is a fantastic approach to gift-giving. In this case, a pencil. They need something to write in all those notebooks, and now they’ll think of you every time they pick up a Blackwing to write in their cahier.
I write with Blackwings every morning; these are my second favorites.
(My top favorite is out of stock.)
6. FUTURE BESTSELLING AUTHOR MUG
The gift that says I believe in you; you’ve got this.
7. BOOKPLATES
Science says that comprehension is six to eight times better with physical books than with e-readers. Reading print books also improves something called Haptic Memory: Physically interacting with the book (feeling its weight, seeing page numbers) activates spatial memory, making information feel more “real” and easier to recall.
I believe in science, so I want to tell you that’s why I prefer print books to e-books.
But the truth for me is more primal and basic: I simply like seeing my books lined up on my shelf, like friends I can visit anytime. I like picking them up. I like continuing our conversation.
And because I write notes in margins and underline things as I read, it’s like visiting with both an old friend and an old version of yourself, at the same time. It’s surreal. It’s glorious. Sometimes I disagree with what I wrote in the margin when I read it the first time… wait. Am I rage-baiting myself?!
ALSO! You can’t stick custom bookplates like these inside a Kindle.
8. AUTHOR MERCH
What would Emily Dickinson, May Sarton, or Gertrude Stein think of their entry into merch culture? I don’t know. But the idea of these famous writers swaggering around like rock stars in branded caps is so absurd… that I’m kind of here for it?
9. NO CAP BUT…
Jane Austen gets a tote. So does Richard Scarry’s Cars and Trucks and Things That Go. Nietzsche (and more) get T-shirts.
10. LITERARY WEATHER
Do you need this? No.
Do you want it? Well… Does the wind prowl across the moor today, wild-hearted and loveless, as if searching for something it once swore to abandon?
11. JOURNAL OF THE MONTH CLUB
Get a new and different print literary magazine in your actual mailbox every month. Actual print! Actual mail! Actual mailbox! I love this one.
12. MARKETINGPROFS B2B FORUM TICKET
I know giving someone a conference ticket is a little unconventional. But hear me out. You aren’t giving them a professional conference, you’ve giving them a place to belong. A chance to learn and laugh and experience a conference unlike any other in the world. And you get to do it with me!
So is that unconventional? Or is that priceless? It’s both.
And because tickets are 50% off for a limited time, it’s also a great buy for you, Thriftypants.
MORE: See what makes the MarketingProfs event special.
13. A WORKING TYPEWRITER
Writing on an old-school typewriter from time to time will change you. Especially when you’re feeling stuck or uninspired.
It’s distraction-free. It’s weirdly and wonderfully tactile. It sends up a raucous clackety-clap for every letter you put on the page that sounds like your own cheering section. YOU’RE DOING IT! YOU’RE WRITING!
A typewriter slows down your brain so writing feels authentically you.
Plus it’s flat-out playful. It’s FUN to use a typewriter! I shared my typewriter joy with you before.
You can find them new in some office supply stores or used on Etsy, Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, Instagram. I found this one below in Goodwill for $10 (!). I almost passed out from overstimulation!
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So there you go—my analog suggestions for a more balanced 2026.
I hope you feel a little less baited by rage in the new year. And while I’m on that subject—maybe you noticed this, too—the Oxford “word of the year” is technically two words, not one.
I’ll let that small correction go.
That’s how untriggered my analog practices make me.